You're Doing it Wrong...

   Sweet Jesus, it's finally over. After what seems like literally a four year war, we have finally pushed through into the president's second term. Or, hopefully, the president's "real" term. Now that he has achieved the goal of getting to be a two-term president, maybe Mr. Obama can actually get around to really governing. Or not...probably not.
   Without question the hallmark of the president's first term will be the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, or Obamacare as it is colloquially known. This controversial piece of legislation  dominated the focus of the Republican Party's ire since the day it was awkwardly shoved through without any bipartisan support (or lube) like a monkey trying to hump a basketball. This bill is really the perfect example of the political climate in America in that the Democratic Party and the president twisted and contorted the bill's original form until it was a virtually unrecognizable shadow of itself. Despite all those attempts to make this "socialistic" bill palatable to the right, they STILL refused to get behind it. Not. One. Yay. Vote.
   Which brings me to my overall point for both of our government's dominant parties...you're doing it wrong. In every way and with your every single political move, both the Republicans and the Democrats are completely and utterly fucking up and destroying any sense if reliability and trust We The People ever held in them. It's like watching two stubborn children arguing over which one gets to sit "shotgun" in the car. There isn't one logical argument to support either side. There is only the steadfast conviction of each side that they are right.
   If I may, I'd like to offer some simple suggestions for both sides that might help them to revive their respective base's faith in their ability to act like goddamned adults instead of bratty children in need of severe spankings and a lengthy "time-out." I humbly offer these knowing full well they will likely ricochet off their targets like a BB fired at a full-steam freight train bearing down on me and my awesome Red Ryder Rifle. I've got nothing better to do, so here we go.
   First, to the GOP and their Tea Party minions, I think you should be aware of some numbers you may not know about. Roughly 12.6% of the US population is African American and 16.4% are Hispanic or Latino. Lots of those folks vote. Especially the African Americans and Latinos who feel somewhat disgruntled and disenfranchised by your party's pretty blatant anti-black and anti-minority policies. I'm not calling you racists, but...if the shoe fits...you buy it quickly and then hurriedly scurry out of the mall before you get mugged by those "urban" teens with the saggy pants.
   Secondly, it's become extremely obvious that the American people aren't comfortable with your assertion that your party has a monopoly on patriotism. Believe it or not, many liberals actually love the hell out of some America. They think its totally groovy to live in a country where they are free to say what they want or even burn a flag if they feel like it in protest of...I don't know...super expensive and unpopular wars against abstract ideas like terror or laws that seek to make women bear the unwanted children of "legitimate" rapists.
   In most parts of the world, tanks get rolled over those who dare to even whisper words that suggest their Dear Leader isn't hung like a horse and endowed with the power of super-duper strength and X-ray vision. Liberals like it here. That's why they fight so hard to keep their freedoms. You might benefit by actually trying to get some of that 29% of Americans to vote for you. Whitey McWasperson's vote isn't enough to keep you in power anymore. The world is changing and you gotta get with the program, ya dig? While you're at it, there are roughly 8,000,000 Americans who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender who would love to have a word with you.
   As for you Democrats, you HAVE to grow a pair of balls...metaphorically speaking. Since President Obama was first elected in 2008, those of us who voted for him have watched incredulously as the Democrats have repeatedly bent over forwards, backwards, sideways, and over a tree-stump in a ridiculous attempt to compromise with an opposition party that has no intention to budge even an inch to the left. For the first two years of President Obama's term, the Democratic Party controlled both houses of congress. If there was ever a better chance to make good on campaign promises than between January of 2009 and January of 2011, I sure as hell don't remember it in my adult life. Did the Democrats take advantage of this opportunity? Hell no! They completely wasted it by stooping and bowing like prison bitches to their opponent "daddy's" in an effort to look like they wanted to reach across the aisle. Guess what? You're daddies aren't interested. Their hands were too busy tweeting anonymous conspiracy theories about how Obama grew up in a Kenyan Al Qaida training camp to be bothered with trying to work with their majority leaders.
   This perception that the Democrats were running rampant in the legislative branch led to the Tea Party Revolution of 2010. Basically, a bunch of uneducated rednecks ran for Congress and won due to a massive misinformation campaign that terrified conservative Americans into believing Obama/Pelosi/Reid were re-writing the Constitution and changing our nation's name to Lil' Kenya/Russia. As you know, not a lot was accomplished after that...dicks.
   So now that we've reached the President's final term, hopefully both sides will realize that America has spoken with the voice of her voters. We want this government to DO ITS JOB! Republicans, climb down off your high horses. Democrats, insert your back-bones and show us you can actually make some changes that benefit America without bankrupting us. Both of you, get your shit together and most of all...DON'T MAKE US COME BACK THERE!